Rainy Season
Today is rainy, like all the days this month. This morning I saw a dead man. He was lying by the side of the road in a pool of blood. I was in a taxi (matatu) on my way to work and I saw a crowd of people where there’s not usually a crowd so I looked, and I saw him. I gasped loudly, and felt like vomiting. I covered my face and breathed slowly the rest of the ride. I felt solemn and confused, like I should mourn this stranger.
Betty and Kuki told me it’s a normal part of life here—seeing dead people by the roadside. Its not something I could handle day after day, without developing some sort of coping mechanism. One such mechanism I have observed here is laughing at things absurd and tragic. Kuki makes jokes about things that make me cry, Mama Adriene laughs to soften the pain of being driven out of our home by Edson’s other wife. It is the only way to acknowledge and somehow absorb the pain of this life without despairing.
But how can one—in good faith—laugh at another’s misfortune or take joy in someone’s suffering? How can Kuki so flippantly wish pain on others when they do something foolish? Is it a result of the harshness of life? There seems to be a strong drive for simple retribution here; if you make a mistake, you deserve to suffer. My privilege gives me a fat cushion on which to sit and wish others well. If I felt I was competing for a very limited number of good things in life (jobs, husbands, luck), my benevolence might give way to self-interest. And with good reason, I might add, for here there is no guarantee of basic rights; one has to fight for everything gained.
So, it seems, there is not much room for humility of the American Evangelical variety; boasting about one’s gifts and laughing at another’s weakness is both acceptable and routine. Could humility mean something else here? It’s difficult to think of the fruits of the Spirit as culturally defined.
In my last assessment letter, I wrote about being okay with poverty; for weeks I had been disillusioned, forgetting what exactly it was I had been theorizing about and protesting against for the last five years. I couldn’t see any direct injustice and anyway, my family is happy. The problems my family has didn’t seem any worse or more dire than problems families have in the US. Those reflections weren’t the naïve “Wow-they-have-nothing-and-they’re-so-joyful, first-short-term-mission-trip” reflections; I was genuinely realizing something about my assumptions regarding what third-world poverty means and doesn’t mean. I think I was wading through the runoff from years of detached analysis that I thought was grounded in sufficient experience.
I received a wake-up-call of sorts in reading Nicholas Wolterstorff’s Until Justice and Peace Embrace, reminding me what’s wrong with poverty. I’ll write more on that soon, but suffice it to say that I wrote in my journal, “There it is—can you believe I had forgotten? God is against poverty. It is contrary to the Kingdom.” It’s an embarrassingly fundamental thing to forget.
Now let me tell you about a little visit I had by our very own Dr. McMinn (my favorite professor at wheaton—she teaches sociology and is advising me for my internship and independent study research project). It seems like she came a long time ago, not least because I got quite sick at the end of the visit and my high fever didn’t help me retain clear memories. Anyway, she arrived safely and we had a sleep-over at Betty’s farm in Entebbe the first night she was in Uganda. The next morning I sent her off to Kumi (about 5 hrs. north of here). When she returned, we talked about everything in the world, and I was very encouraged. It was good to have someone who knows me and believes in me telling me that I was doing a good job in my internship, that my Luganda is good, and that I have a graceful way of being bold. She is such a kind and gentle and honest person. When she came to my home on Monday (Aug 8), I gathered all the kids together so she could give them cookies. Altogether there are probably 15 kids, maybe more. Spontaneously, they decided to sing for her and it quickly turned into us singing and dancing as she laughed on the couch. It made my heart happy. I felt like she really got a glimpse of what my home is like. We also took her through the garden and to the well, where we had an interesting encounter with a Muslim boy who I believe might have a demon, or else a severe hatred for me.
The next day we went to Bombo, a nearby village, to dye materials for weaving. The Nubian women taught us how to weave, and gave us heaps of food. That day was really gratifying for everyone involved, as DM got to know some of my coworkers more closely and see some of what “field work” looks like for me; I felt my relationships with that group of women strengthen a lot; and the women got to laugh at me all day and received a generous gift from DM.
Moving on, we picked my friend and fellow student, Megan up on Wednesday night and drove to Jinja, the source of the Nile, where we spent the next several days with another wheaton student, Rebecca. The place we stayed was beautiful and private, and we had many uplifting and challenging conversations. I finally drank some good Ugandan coffee (for some reason, though coffee is their biggest export, everyone drinks instant NesCafe which tastes like dirty water). Megan tried to convince me to apply to Princeton Div School, and she was persuasive. Then I got sick, thought I had malaria, got tested (for 1000 shillings—about 60 cents!), found out it was just the flu, spent the next few days in a daze, sometime during which I sent Megan and DM away to Malawi and crashed at Sam’s house. It was really wonderful to get to spend time with Rebecca, Megan and Dr. McMinn. It was a refreshing and renewing time.
Dr. McMinn and I got a lot of time to talk about my independent study research project that I will begin soon. I have decided to research the effects of unfaithfulness (in marriage or committed relationships) on poverty levels of single mothers and their children. I will write a full explanation soon and post it. I am now in the process of trying to find relevant resources, which is very difficult. I am going to try to visit Makerere University this week to see their Social Work department and library. Books are really scarce around here.
In other news, last weekend I went to the farm of one of Jaja’s relatives, deeper in the village. It was beautiful, situated on the top of a high hill with many cows and flowers. I milked my first cow, and also met a rabid cow that they killed a few hours later. As it turns out, the couple who owns the farm are wonderful and Anglican. I hope to develop my relationship with them and attend church with them sometime soon.
At Uganda Crafts, I have been engaging myself in some exciting new projects. After realizing that which work we do depends largely my initiative, I have begun a massive reorganization of the shop display. This is a much-needed improvement, from the perspective of a tourist, since no one wants to buy things that look old and disorganized. I have suggested holding a sale to get rid of old/damaged stock and make room for new stock. Additionally, we are constructing shelves and other things to organize the shop more neatly and display items more effectively. I think you have seen the promotional materials I made for Uganda Crafts, and we are currently working on displaying them throughout the city. I am also working on other local marketing strategies, like advertising in tourist magazines and travel guides. It has been quite a task to convince Betty that advertising is worthwhile. She complains that no customers come to the shop, without realizing that we must advertise for them to hear about us. This is the kind of lack of critical thinking skills that has disturbed me since arriving. Additionally, I have been doing some designing of new products, which is exciting for me and is a little more artistic/hands-on than working on promotional materials.
In a staff meeting we had yesterday, I discussed the issue of fair trade principles with Betty and the others. I may have been a little overzealous and preachy, since rather than asking what they thought, I asked rhetorical questions and assumed they wanted to continue caring for the artisans by paying high prices for their products. The subject came up because one of the staff recently went to an exhibition in Denmark where all the importers complained that the quality of our items was low and the prices were too high. I think our conversation allowed Betty to see how unique Ten Thousand Villages is, in that they are willing to pay a higher price and be lenient since they know they are supporting fair trade. During the conversation, Betty happened to mention that last year she applied for a fair trade certificate and was denied. Though I had raised the idea of applying to the Fair Trade Federation with Betty, she had failed to mention her past attempt. I am not completely surprised that she was denied, and I hope to explore this more completely with her.
I have been subtly encouraging her to think of the ways in which Uganda Crafts is helping people, and suggesting ways in which it could help more. Sometimes this makes me feel like I am being paternalistic, and imposing my desires and values on Betty and Uganda Crafts. Truth be told, I do feel this business is like a child that needs direction. Though I know I am not the person to do it, I feel like I am the only one interested in doing it. If someone else came in who didn’t care about helping people but only about making a profit, Uganda Crafts would probably lose any semblance of the non-profit organization it used to be. Betty simply does not have the skills to run this place. I am embarrassed to write these things, but I am thinking them all the time, so it is good to name them.
I’m back to work now.
Thanks for reading.
Please pray that God would give me a strong desire to pray and read scripture. It’s easy to just be happy and live life without being consciously thankful. Please pray for my Luganda skills, and for direction in my research.
Additionally, I am going to Nairobi, Kenya this weekend, for a crafts exhibition. I’m not sure how long I’ll be there, but please pray for my safety as I’ve heard Nairobi is much more dangerous than Kampala.
May joy abound among you,
emily!
WRITE ME SOON EVERYONE :)
Betty and Kuki told me it’s a normal part of life here—seeing dead people by the roadside. Its not something I could handle day after day, without developing some sort of coping mechanism. One such mechanism I have observed here is laughing at things absurd and tragic. Kuki makes jokes about things that make me cry, Mama Adriene laughs to soften the pain of being driven out of our home by Edson’s other wife. It is the only way to acknowledge and somehow absorb the pain of this life without despairing.
But how can one—in good faith—laugh at another’s misfortune or take joy in someone’s suffering? How can Kuki so flippantly wish pain on others when they do something foolish? Is it a result of the harshness of life? There seems to be a strong drive for simple retribution here; if you make a mistake, you deserve to suffer. My privilege gives me a fat cushion on which to sit and wish others well. If I felt I was competing for a very limited number of good things in life (jobs, husbands, luck), my benevolence might give way to self-interest. And with good reason, I might add, for here there is no guarantee of basic rights; one has to fight for everything gained.
So, it seems, there is not much room for humility of the American Evangelical variety; boasting about one’s gifts and laughing at another’s weakness is both acceptable and routine. Could humility mean something else here? It’s difficult to think of the fruits of the Spirit as culturally defined.
In my last assessment letter, I wrote about being okay with poverty; for weeks I had been disillusioned, forgetting what exactly it was I had been theorizing about and protesting against for the last five years. I couldn’t see any direct injustice and anyway, my family is happy. The problems my family has didn’t seem any worse or more dire than problems families have in the US. Those reflections weren’t the naïve “Wow-they-have-nothing-and-they’re-so-joyful, first-short-term-mission-trip” reflections; I was genuinely realizing something about my assumptions regarding what third-world poverty means and doesn’t mean. I think I was wading through the runoff from years of detached analysis that I thought was grounded in sufficient experience.
I received a wake-up-call of sorts in reading Nicholas Wolterstorff’s Until Justice and Peace Embrace, reminding me what’s wrong with poverty. I’ll write more on that soon, but suffice it to say that I wrote in my journal, “There it is—can you believe I had forgotten? God is against poverty. It is contrary to the Kingdom.” It’s an embarrassingly fundamental thing to forget.
Now let me tell you about a little visit I had by our very own Dr. McMinn (my favorite professor at wheaton—she teaches sociology and is advising me for my internship and independent study research project). It seems like she came a long time ago, not least because I got quite sick at the end of the visit and my high fever didn’t help me retain clear memories. Anyway, she arrived safely and we had a sleep-over at Betty’s farm in Entebbe the first night she was in Uganda. The next morning I sent her off to Kumi (about 5 hrs. north of here). When she returned, we talked about everything in the world, and I was very encouraged. It was good to have someone who knows me and believes in me telling me that I was doing a good job in my internship, that my Luganda is good, and that I have a graceful way of being bold. She is such a kind and gentle and honest person. When she came to my home on Monday (Aug 8), I gathered all the kids together so she could give them cookies. Altogether there are probably 15 kids, maybe more. Spontaneously, they decided to sing for her and it quickly turned into us singing and dancing as she laughed on the couch. It made my heart happy. I felt like she really got a glimpse of what my home is like. We also took her through the garden and to the well, where we had an interesting encounter with a Muslim boy who I believe might have a demon, or else a severe hatred for me.
The next day we went to Bombo, a nearby village, to dye materials for weaving. The Nubian women taught us how to weave, and gave us heaps of food. That day was really gratifying for everyone involved, as DM got to know some of my coworkers more closely and see some of what “field work” looks like for me; I felt my relationships with that group of women strengthen a lot; and the women got to laugh at me all day and received a generous gift from DM.
Moving on, we picked my friend and fellow student, Megan up on Wednesday night and drove to Jinja, the source of the Nile, where we spent the next several days with another wheaton student, Rebecca. The place we stayed was beautiful and private, and we had many uplifting and challenging conversations. I finally drank some good Ugandan coffee (for some reason, though coffee is their biggest export, everyone drinks instant NesCafe which tastes like dirty water). Megan tried to convince me to apply to Princeton Div School, and she was persuasive. Then I got sick, thought I had malaria, got tested (for 1000 shillings—about 60 cents!), found out it was just the flu, spent the next few days in a daze, sometime during which I sent Megan and DM away to Malawi and crashed at Sam’s house. It was really wonderful to get to spend time with Rebecca, Megan and Dr. McMinn. It was a refreshing and renewing time.
Dr. McMinn and I got a lot of time to talk about my independent study research project that I will begin soon. I have decided to research the effects of unfaithfulness (in marriage or committed relationships) on poverty levels of single mothers and their children. I will write a full explanation soon and post it. I am now in the process of trying to find relevant resources, which is very difficult. I am going to try to visit Makerere University this week to see their Social Work department and library. Books are really scarce around here.
In other news, last weekend I went to the farm of one of Jaja’s relatives, deeper in the village. It was beautiful, situated on the top of a high hill with many cows and flowers. I milked my first cow, and also met a rabid cow that they killed a few hours later. As it turns out, the couple who owns the farm are wonderful and Anglican. I hope to develop my relationship with them and attend church with them sometime soon.
At Uganda Crafts, I have been engaging myself in some exciting new projects. After realizing that which work we do depends largely my initiative, I have begun a massive reorganization of the shop display. This is a much-needed improvement, from the perspective of a tourist, since no one wants to buy things that look old and disorganized. I have suggested holding a sale to get rid of old/damaged stock and make room for new stock. Additionally, we are constructing shelves and other things to organize the shop more neatly and display items more effectively. I think you have seen the promotional materials I made for Uganda Crafts, and we are currently working on displaying them throughout the city. I am also working on other local marketing strategies, like advertising in tourist magazines and travel guides. It has been quite a task to convince Betty that advertising is worthwhile. She complains that no customers come to the shop, without realizing that we must advertise for them to hear about us. This is the kind of lack of critical thinking skills that has disturbed me since arriving. Additionally, I have been doing some designing of new products, which is exciting for me and is a little more artistic/hands-on than working on promotional materials.
In a staff meeting we had yesterday, I discussed the issue of fair trade principles with Betty and the others. I may have been a little overzealous and preachy, since rather than asking what they thought, I asked rhetorical questions and assumed they wanted to continue caring for the artisans by paying high prices for their products. The subject came up because one of the staff recently went to an exhibition in Denmark where all the importers complained that the quality of our items was low and the prices were too high. I think our conversation allowed Betty to see how unique Ten Thousand Villages is, in that they are willing to pay a higher price and be lenient since they know they are supporting fair trade. During the conversation, Betty happened to mention that last year she applied for a fair trade certificate and was denied. Though I had raised the idea of applying to the Fair Trade Federation with Betty, she had failed to mention her past attempt. I am not completely surprised that she was denied, and I hope to explore this more completely with her.
I have been subtly encouraging her to think of the ways in which Uganda Crafts is helping people, and suggesting ways in which it could help more. Sometimes this makes me feel like I am being paternalistic, and imposing my desires and values on Betty and Uganda Crafts. Truth be told, I do feel this business is like a child that needs direction. Though I know I am not the person to do it, I feel like I am the only one interested in doing it. If someone else came in who didn’t care about helping people but only about making a profit, Uganda Crafts would probably lose any semblance of the non-profit organization it used to be. Betty simply does not have the skills to run this place. I am embarrassed to write these things, but I am thinking them all the time, so it is good to name them.
I’m back to work now.
Thanks for reading.
Please pray that God would give me a strong desire to pray and read scripture. It’s easy to just be happy and live life without being consciously thankful. Please pray for my Luganda skills, and for direction in my research.
Additionally, I am going to Nairobi, Kenya this weekend, for a crafts exhibition. I’m not sure how long I’ll be there, but please pray for my safety as I’ve heard Nairobi is much more dangerous than Kampala.
May joy abound among you,
emily!
WRITE ME SOON EVERYONE :)
posted by emily "nalubwama" cool at 7:53 AM
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